A scenario

Everyday I woke up & made myself a cup of iced kopi o. That's the only way, as for now to 'trick' myself that hey, life isn't so bad right now. Kata kata orang, mulakan hari anda sebetulnya dengan secangkir kopi. Get your sh8 together dengan menghirup molekul molekul kafein ke dalam badan. That's the #1 step on how to live life. 

Kopi, sudah. Turn on the laptop, sudah. Klik sana klik sini - checking emails pun sudah. Highlight of the day. Meh nothing interesting. Let's move on to reading random articles on the Net.

Klik klak klik klak klik klak. 

3.58am. 

4 days straight of having extreme highs & lows. Going to bed is an extreme sport. Attempting to sleep can be super tiring. They said crying yourself to sleep helps but I'm the walking living proof that most of the days - it doesn't. On loop, on repeat. Just wanting it to stop.

When was the last time you had a fulfilling 2-way-super transparent conversation with your loved ones? When was the last time you talk & connect, for real? Instead of spamming one another with stickers/gifs without context. When was the last time you lend your ears mindfully? When was the last time you are being honest? To yourself and people around you? 

Rapid changes - hatinya itu sifatnya seperti sampan kecil di atas lautan yang besar. Persis permainan tarik tali, kadang bila tali ditarik, tersungkur ke tanah atau ditarik terlalu tegang - melecet tangannya. 

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I can't do it on my own. You're the grounding that I need but I wasted it. I don't know how long this tiny heart of mine can last.